The Marriage of Go & Lo!
by Ynnep
Summary: What happenes when Chichi wants grandkids and all her son's are gay and one is dating a Namek? She'll get a grandkid one way or another.
1. Chapter 1

**The marriage of Go & Lo**

**Pairings: GohanxPiccolo, GotenxTrunks GokuxChichi with hints on yaoi jokes**

**Rating: PG13 for alternant lifestyles, and language**

**Summary: Basically, what if Gohan didn't marry Videl but someone he's known a lot longer?**

**I don't own DBZ, duh.**

* * *

It was a bright sunny day at the Son residents. A year has passed since the great fight with Majin Buu and things were finally at peace. Well…almost…

Chichi: *Jaw hitting the floor* YOU'RE BOTH GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Goten: *Holding hands with Trunks* What's gay? We're in love with each other~! Ha-ha!

Trunks: Goten, gay is when two guys like each other. *Nudges him then looks to Chichi* We are! And likewise, I would like to ask for your son's hand in marriage, Mrs. Chichi! *Bows*

Chichi: *Trying not to smack him in the face* GRRRR!!!!

Chichi had nothing against gay people personally, but Gohan just came out about his relationship with Piccolo a few weeks ago. Goten and Trunks both backed up as her power level rose! Both boys feared the Ox Princess's wrath even more than Majin Buu himself.

Goten: Mom-mommy? *Shaking*

Trunks: I think she's gonna blow! *Ducks and covers*

Gohan: *Rushes in from the hall* Mother! Calm down. Their just kids-

Suddenly Chichi exploded! Not with her usual rage but in tears. She fell to her knees, crying her eyes out. Everyone was in shock at her reaction.

Trunks: *Clinging to Goten* …*Blinking, dumbfounded*

Goten: *Blushing at Trunks touch* Hmm…

Gohan: Mom, are you alright-

Chichi: ALL MY KIDS ARE GAY!!! *Slams her fists on the floor* I love you all…gay or straight…but I just wanted some grandchildren!! *Sobs more* Now I'll never have them!!

Goten: *Confused* Huh? Why not? Me and Trunks might want kids one day. *Blushing and wiggling*

Trunks: *Baps Goten on the head* Stupid, boys can't have babies.

Goten: *Surprised* O-oh…*Walks to Chichi* Mommy, if you want, I'll marry a girl when I grow up…

Chichi: *Sits up and hugs him* It…it is your choice Goten. *Sniffles* I just want you to be happy.

Trunks/Gohan: *Watching, surprised* Whoa…

Goten: *Lights up* So I can marry Trunks when I get big?

Chichi: *Still crying, nods* If it will make you happy-

Goten: SWEET! *Runs to Trunks and pulls him off* Lets go online shop for wedding dresses!!!

Trunks: What! I ain't wearing no dress! *Pulled off* AH!

Chichi was now laying face down on the hard floor, still crying to herself. Gohan walked over and helped her up.

Gohan: *Cleans her face* You okay, mom?

Chichi: Guess I could always just think ahead…since Goten's marrying the richest boy in the world…*Sniffles* I can travel the world…I won't have time to think about grand kids…*Fake smile* Just how to prevent my rapid aging…*Lip quivers and eyes water again* No children in my way…at all…not even a useless granddaughter named Pan…nothing…no one to carry the family line…*Zoned out*

Gohan: *Looks off sweating* Well…technically…Piccolo's race can reproduce A-sexually and choose how they will look. Even like someone else's DNA… *Cough*

Chichi: *Looks up* Wh-what?

Gohan: *Blushing out of control and really uncomfortable* Piccolo can have my kids.

Chichi: *Blank faced* …He-he can? *Blushes a little as her mind wonders*

In Chichi's mind, a chubby little baby with green skin, pointy ears, antenna, black hair, a bored look, a tail and Chinese clothing waddled around. It's name would be Rain.

Chichi: *Smiles and lets out a sigh* AWWWWW~!!! Even if it is green…that would be such a cute baby!! *Giggles and covers her red cheeks* We could even name it Rain~! I'd play with its antenna and brush its tail all day~!

Gohan: *Points out, matter-of-factly* Well, it'd only be a quarter Saiyan; I don't think it would have a tail.

Chichi: *Smacks him* Give me some f**king grandkids!!

A few weeks later…

Piccolo: *Standing on a rock, choking Gohan* I AGREED TO, WHAT!!!!!?

Birds flew away, sensing death.

Gohan: *Choking and shrugging with a dopy look on his face* Gack-have a baby with my after I finish school? Heheheh-*Gags*

One massive beating later, Piccolo was sitting on his rock with a pouty look. Gohan stood next to him, bloody and bruised.

Piccolo: *Puff cheeks* Okay…*Deflates* I'll do it, but I want to get married first. *Mumbles* Can't have people thinking I'm a slut.

Gohan: *Lights up a little and kisses Piccolo's cheek* Wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Piccolo. I'll go tell mom and dad.

Piccolo: *Grumbles* Fine…I…love you. *Looks off*

Gohan: *Smiles warmly* Back at you.

Back at the Son house, the roof was jumping off the walls!

Chichi: He agreed to it and actually wants to make it legal!!? Holy s**t!!

Goku: *Has a pot belly and holding a roasted Yak's leg* Okay, I've been in the basement, binge eating for weeks, what the hell is going on? Did I miss something!!?

Gohan: Piccolo said if we are going to have kids…we have to get married first. *Blushing*

Chichi: Wow, never pegged him as the honorable type. *Hands on her hips*

Goku: Wait, when did Gohan start dating Piccolo? *Blink* Man, I gotta get my act together. *Rubbing his head*

Chichi: That you do. *Back to Gohan* Well, you graduate in a few months, so send Piccolo over here the next time you see.

Gohan: *Blinks* Huh? Why? You aren't going to threaten him or something are you?

Chichi: *Rolls her eyes* Noooo, I just want to talk to him about the wedding and kids. He is going to be my daughter-in-law soon after all. *Makes a face* Gah, that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Gohan: Heheheh, I bet. *Looks to Goku* Dad? You're being awfully quiet.

Goku: *Silly jester* Oh sorry, just coming to terms with my food addiction. *Smiles* I'm happy for you, son. If fact, I'm going to put some pants on-and a bigger shirt…and go see my future Piccolo-in-law! *Skips off*

Chichi: Now you should be worried about your father threatening your mates. *Sweating*

Later that day at the wastelands, Goku and Piccolo were sitting on a plateau together. Goku was munching on a giant ball of meat while Piccolo tried not to vomit.

Goku: *Spewing crumbs* So, why did you agree to all this, Piccolo? *Gulp*

Piccolo: B-because…Gohan-*Gags* Asked me to-okay, will you just stop eating that in front of me you nasty pig! *Covers his mouth* I'm getting sick…*Sticks his tongue out*

Goku: Sorry. *Swallows it whole with a nasty gulp* Ah! Much better!

Piccolo: …BLECK!! *Vomits on the ground*

Goku: Eww!! …You gonna eat that-

Piccolo: If you don't want me to marry Gohan just say it!!!

**End Chapter 1.**

**I got much more to come.**


	2. Chapter 2: Special training

**The marriage of Go & Lo: Chapter 2**

**Pairings: GohanxPiccolo, GotenxTrunks GokuxChichi with hints on yaoi jokes**

**Rating: PG13 for alternant lifestyles, and language**

**Summary: Basically, what if Gohan didn't marry Videl but someone he's known a lot longer?**

Goku: *Cocks his head* Huh? What are you talking about?

A week passed by. Chichi was in the kitchen, washing up after Goku's fifth lunch break from training. There was a knock on the door, causing the housewife to form an evil grin.

Chichi: Coming~! *Walks to the door and opens it* Ah! Gohan said you were on the way~! Come in; take on your cape and-well you don't have hair to pull back-

Piccolo: *Pissed off looking* What did you want from me? Make it quick, woman! I got things to do.

Chichi: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the cave.

Piccolo: I don't sleep in a cave! *Tosses his cape and turban outside*

Chichi: Whatever. *Walking to the kitchen* Now hurry up, I got things to do too, ya know?

Piccolo: Oh yes, being a housewife for a man that is never home is soooo hard. *Sits at the table*

Chichi: You're going to find out soon enough. *Sits with him* That's why I asked you here today. Consider your first day of training. *Smiles*

Piccolo: *Arches a brow* Training? What are you talking about?

Chichi: *Points at him* Preparation for becoming a househusband.

Piccolo: Who the hell said I was going to be that?

Chichi: Well, Gohan will be starting collage soon and eventually working. With a kid on top of that, he'll never be around to help you. And I don't think CPS would approve of you leaving your own kids alone in the woods for the first years of their life.

Piccolo: *Grumbles* Fine! I get your point. Let's just get this over with.

Chichi: Okay then. *Stands up and hands Piccolo a pink apron* Put this on.

Piccolo: *A vain is on his head* Whhhhhhyyyyyy? *Takes it*

Chichi: so you don't get bleach on your clothes, duh. *Walks over to the sink* I'm going to teach you how to wash dishes. I already did most of them.

Piccolo: Really? *Sweating* (She is going to make me do house work!? Son of a-)

Chichi: Now! Bleach out your scrubber and add soap.

Piccolo: Fine. *Grabs the sponge and drenches it in bleach* …*Blinks then jumps back* OH GOD! What's happening to my hand!!?

Chichi: *Annoyed* You poured the straight bleach on your hand! Its bleaching your hands! Quick wash it off!

Piccolo: *Frantically washes his hands* You didn't tell me that s**t would do that!!

Chichi: You're supposed to used the bleach and water mixture. *Sighs* That one. *Points* my bad. *Rubs her head*

One hour of headaches and broken dished later, they were all clean.

Chichi: Not bad. With some practice you might develop a nice OCD. *Giggles*

Piccolo: When is my hand going to go back to normal? *Looking at his pale hand*

Chichi: In a few days. Just Give it time. Now we're going to learn about doing the laundry! This one can be rather fun and is a great way to spy on your kids.

Piccolo: That's twisted…*Smirks* I love it.

Chichi: *Smirks* You have potential then.

We cut to Chichi and Piccolo hanging clothes out to dry on the roof.

Piccolo: my god, how many ketchup stains do you clean in a year? *Hanging up Goku's shirt*

Chichi: I counted that once. *Sighs* You gotta love washing machines. *Hold up a pair of her own pants* Argh! Damn it to hell! This is the forth pair of pants I've ripped. *Pouts* Cause my butt's gotten so big.

Piccolo: *Zaps it and they were new again* There ya go. *Holds up a pair of Gohan's teddy bear underwear and blushes* …*Gulp*

Chichi: Wow! Thanks, Piccolo. That's a pretty handy trick. *Folds it up*

Piccolo: …*Still staring* (Should…should I take these?)

Chichi: What are you blushing about? They are clean. *Takes them and hangs them with the others*

Piccolo: (Damn.) Oh, right. *Hangs up Goten's Chinese shirt* Why do your kids always seem to wear these the first fifteen years of their lives?

Chichi: I don't know, why do you wear a freak'n cape like it's the 80's?

Piccolo: *Grunts and folds the dry clothes, mumbling* Mean old hag.

Chichi: *Has a clothe pin * What was that? *Clamps his nose*

Piccolo: OW! The hell is wrong with you!?

Meanwhile at Gohan's high school, the young Saiyan just finished playing soccer with his friends.

Sharpner: Good game today, Gohan! *Panting*

Gohan: *Not even sweating* Thanks, man. *Takes off his hat*

Sharpner: Hay me and Erasa are going to a friend's house for a few drinks, wanna come?

Gohan: *Sweating* Sorry, I can't. My fiancé would kill me.

Sharpner: Fiancé!!? So you and Videl-

Gohan: No! *Waves frantically* It's not like that with me and her. We are still just friend.

Sharpner: *Wraps his arm around Gohan* Well than, whose the 'lucky' girl?

Gohan: *Rolls his eyes* Learn the language, man. Fiancé means the engaged man.

Sharpner: *Jumps back* YOU'RE MARRYING A DUDE!!?

Everyone looked on in shock, and then swarmed Gohan.

Erasa: Gohan, you're gay!?

Random girl: Oh that's so cute!! Tell us who!

Dude: Is that even legal!?

Gay dude: *Smiling and giggling* Does he have a brother!?

Gohan: *Panicking* Everyone, calm down-

Videl: *On the roof* He's marrying that green guy from the cell games. Piccolo! *Jumps off and smacks his back* Congrats, Gohan! How'd you get him to say yes?

Gohan: *Weak smile* Oh uh-

Everyone was silent than started swarming Gohan again.

Sharpner: You're banging an alien!? Holy s**t, man! That is crazy! I can even get Erasa to put out-*Gets punched in the gut*

Erasa: Can it you jerk! *Smiles again* Are we invited to the wedding? *Giggling* Oh, are you going to wear a dress!?

Gohan: *Sighs and sinks to the floor*

Videl: Hay! Give him some space!

The time was finally at the Son home 5:30 PM and it was time to start cooking!

Chichi: Okay, Gohan and Goten will be home soon and Goku will be hungry. Are you ready for your biggest challenge?

Piccolo: *Gulps* I don't think I'm ready for this. *Fiddles with his apron*

Chichi: Don't worry; I'll be here to help you. We'll start out simple. Tonight we are cooking dim-sum, rice and oven roasted vegetables.

Piccolo: What the hell is that?

Chichi: What's what?

Piccolo: Dim-sum.

Chichi: *Smiles* Dim-sum, loose some. Hahahah!

Piccolo: …*Blinks*

Chichi: *Sighs* Hey it worked for King Kai.

Elsewhere…

King Kai: *Sneezes* Bleh! Someone talking about me?

Chapter 2 end.

More to come


	3. Chapter 3: Dimsum lose some

**The marriage of Go & Lo**

**The marriage of Go & Lo: Chapter 3**

**Pairings: GohanxPiccolo, GotenxTrunks GokuxChichi with hints on yaoi jokes**

**Rating: PG13 for alternant lifestyles, and language**

**Summary: Basically, what if Gohan didn't marry Videl but someone he's known a lot longer?**

Chichi held up a piece of egg wrapping paper and a chunk of meat she prepped the night before.

Chichi: Okay! You just do this!

In a flash she plopped the meat in the wrapper and rolled it into a flower shape, topping it with a snow pea lightly. She then placed it in a bamboo steamer.

Piccolo: *Eyes widen* What…the hell…was that?

Chichi: Years of experience! Now you try.

Piccolo: *Grunts and grabs a handful of meat*

Chichi: That's too much! Less meat!

Piccolo: *Grunts and puts some back* Damn it! You don't have to scream!

About 25 minutes later, Goten came in the back door and set down his books.

Goten: I'm home mom!

Chichi was sitting at the table, salting the vegetables while Piccolo continued to make dim-sum.

Chichi: Hey, Goten. You're home late. What kept you?

Goten: I was joining the theater club at school! I get to paint a set! I'm the set designer because I'm the best painter! *Proud*

Chichi: *Smiles* My little artist.

Goten: *Smiles at Piccolo* Hi, Piccolo-san! *Drooling* Are you making dim-sum!?

Piccolo: *Has made over ten of them* Yup. Trying anyway.

Chichi: I'm training him to be a househusband. *Sniggers* He's been my little helper all day.

Piccolo: *Grumbles something in Namekian*

Goten: *Runs to Piccolo and pulls on his pant leg* When you get to be a good cook-*Drooling*-can you make me some mochi daifuku?

Piccolo: Mochi what? *Stuffing another in the bamboo steamer*

Chichi: Strawberries, wrapped in bean paste and mochi. It's his favorite. *Putting the vegetables in the oven*

Piccolo: Um, sure, I guess.

Goten: Yay!!!!!! I can't wait! *Takes off his shirt* Well, I'm going to take a bath. See you later! *Runs off*

Piccolo: *Washing his hands* I made fifteen, is that enough?

Chichi: *Starting the rice* Hmm, well there is Goku, Gohan, Goten, you and me…so I'd say about 55 should be enough.

Piccolo: *Almost drops one* 55!!!!!? Son of a b**ch! Can I just use the big steamer than? This is taking forever!

Chichi: No! They taste better in that one. Consider yourself lucky. I usually make at least a hundred. *Sighs* But I put Goku on a diet.

Piccolo: *Grunts and starts making them again*

Chichi: *Giggles* Get used to it.

Gohan: *Comes in, puts his books down and stretches* I'm home! Hi, mom.

Chichi: Hello, son. *Steering the rice*

Gohan stepped into the kitchen and gasped at the site of a 7.4 foot Namekian, standing in his kitchen, wearing a pink apron and cooking his dinner! Gohan's heart began to flutter and he skipped to his mate.

Gohan: Hello, dear. *Kisses Piccolo's cheek*

Piccolo: *Vain on his head* Hello.

Gohan: How-how's my-pff-little housewife doing? *Trying not to laugh*

Piccolo: *Trying not to strangle Gohan* Fffffiiinnnneee-

Goku: *Runs in* I smell food! *Drooling* DIM-SUN!! *Grabs like seventeen of them and eats them all*

Piccolo: DAMMIT GOKU! *Punches him in the face* Get the f**k out of the kitchen while I'm cooking!

Goku: Ouch! *Rubbing his face* Okay! Fine…*Leaves* Sheesh…

Gohan/Chichi: *Blink and are in shock*

Piccolo: *Snaps t them* What!?

Gohan: Nothing-er-gonna hit the showers! *Gulps and shifts out*

Chichi: *Smirks* You are really getting the knack of this. Usually I have to stab Goku to get him out.

Piccolo: *Blushing and goes back to cooking*

Less than an hour later, the Son family was seated at the table! They were all gazing in disbelief at the food before them. Did the "Evil Demon King" really prepare this? Chichi smiled with pride at how far her student came in one day.

Goku: Wow, he did a good job. *Drooling*

Goten: *Already eating* It's great!

Gohan: *Bashful and happy* That is my sensei~!

Goku: *Chewing a carrot* Hay, where is Piccolo? He helped cook it after all, where is he?

Chichi: *Sipping tea* He was so exhausted afterwards he passed out behind the counter. *Points*

They all looked down to see a sleeping Namek on the floor. He was snoring softly and everyone chuckled.

Goku: Awww, just like the first time you cooked for me. *Munches a dim-sum Sept then I had to call the hospital.

Chichi: *Sighs* I remember that. We were so young back then. *Blushing*

Goten: You two aren't going to make out now, are you?

Gohan: *Spits out some of his food* PFFFTT!!! *Covering a chortle*

Chichi: Keep talking like that and we just might. *Takes a sip*

Goten: Hahahah ewww! *Steals a dim-sum from Goku*

Goku: Hay! That was mine, pipsqueak! Just for that-*Kisses Chichi on the cheek*

Chichi: *Blushes* Eep!

Goten: Ew! Protect me, Gohan! *Hides in his arm*

Gohan: Stop that! *Shoving playfully*

Piccolo: *Sleeping peacefully* ZzZZzzZzzzZZzZZzZZzzZz…

The next morning, Piccolo woke up in the guest room in a bed that was too small for him. He sprung up fast and gasped.

Piccolo: I fell asleep! *Looks around* Where am I? *Sinks down* This is Gohan's old room.

Knock, knock, knock! Piccolo pulled the blankets up to his face. The banging, surprised him but hwe eventually stood up.

Gohan: *Pops his head in* Moring, Piccolo-san. Did you sleep okay?

Piccolo: *Blinks* Uh…

Gohan: Dad put you in here. Hahahah you were totally wiped out. *Comes in and stands close* I'm on my way to school now and wanted to say good morning to you. *Looks away, blushing* Thanks for humoring my mother. She didn't work you too hard, did she?

Piccolo: *Rubs his head and looks off coolly* It wasn't so bad. *Smirks* I learned a lot about housework…and you.

Gohan: *Blinks* Hm? What did you learn about me?

Piccolo: *Pulls Gohan close and grins evilly* One of your pairs of underwear has teddy bears on them.

Gohan: *Blushes* H-how would you know that!? I've never worn them if front of you-

Piccolo: *In his face* I'm wearing them! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Gohan: *Blushes and gets a nose bleed* …Re-really?

Piccolo: No.

End chapter 3.

**You know the drill**


End file.
